There is no escape from mortality. It is something we all have to deal with.How does one deal with loss of a loved one? How does one manage the pain? When you lose a loved one, Why does this happen? How can you understand this? How can one cope?
As an atheist, I have no incentive for death. There is no afterlife, no place that comes after death, But due to this what i do in this life is of utmost importance. I plan to accomplish many things within my limited time. I need to do something meaningful in this world that will endure. I need to have a legacy. I need my friends and family to have a meaningful contribution to remember me with after I'm gone.
With religion, one is told time and time again of Gods master plan. The principal object of faith is the one who ordains and orchestrates this, all to a grand purpose. I always ask myself what kind of monster would do this and rob us of our friends or even family? What sort of convoluted, depraved purpose can only be accomplished by bringing death in the painful ways that it occurs?
I know when something happens, it is tempting to look for an agent in it. Why was what was precious taken away from you? Whom caused this and what purpose was there in it? There was this unerring comment by Sam Harris about this aspect of human nature. When we are in the dark and we hear rustling in the bushes, we don't first think that it might be the wind or a gust. The first thought is who is that? What do they want? Not because it is likely but because we have developed or evolved in situations where thinking like this was beneficial to survival.
We are stuck in this primal mental make-up. However we do not have let it rule our lives. It is better for you not look for an agent to a loss as you will always be looking for something that does not exist.There is no purpose to it, there is no one who required it to happened, there was no plan for it, It just happened.
If you have experienced a loss, I want you to instead think of your loved one and all they accomplished in their lifetimes. Think of the struggles they overcame, of the changes they made in your life and all the lives that they have influenced. Appreciate that they have made an impact in the world, They might not have solved all the world's problems but they have helped somehow. How do you want to continue their legacy? How do you want to their meaning to endure.