What is being manly to me? To be manly is to make a single binary decision that can be defined as being bold, having muchismo or of what your base instinct of maleness demands. The crucial detail is this is that being manly is this one decision. You can make a lot of decisions that are manly, in which case you are consistently manly, but I have not and choose not to define this as manliness.
Look at the mucho-roid men of the internet like Andrew Tate. They have made this cult of man where their objective is to make as many manly choices in life as they can. They can't physically bend in pictures since that they believe that is beta, thus being not manly. They are consistently money motivated and have this internal hatred or looking down on women, cause it is manly. They choose to idolize the male machismo, defied as big engines cars, guns and brash inconsequentialism. They strive for the Wikipedia definition of it,"a strong sense of masculine pride: an exaggerated masculinity". I can say that yes, they are more consistently manly than me or many others but they do not achieve manliness since this can and should not be defined by men.
Being manly might be desirable but it is not always synonymous with wisdom, kindness, e.t.c. Being manly is choosing to leave bed at night to start work on a side project, A single binary choice to get up, leave your wife sleeping and work on an ambition. It is sacrifing job and livelihood to go help and be with a friend, a single binary decision that sacrifices your job for for the sake of someone. Being manly is deciding to leave a relationship that lacks respect for you, a single binary choice that sacrifices love, happiness and even the future for the sake of a virtue or honorability. Being manly is sacrifing physically, emotional and even financial welfare for family, a single binary decision that cripples, destitutes and impoverishes you to help out your family.
I can say that I have not always been manly. Sometimes, but not always. It is only one of the gauges on myself, a threshold of what I believe is the man thing to do. It is not the only gauge, it is not even the most important one. As long as I don't strictly adhere to this mucho-ness, I can consider wisdom, kindness, fears, laziness, appeal and other factors in my decision making.
I choose to never define manliness. That is up to others to define. If a woman chooses to see Muscular and physical prowess as manliness, more power to her. If public perception chooses to equate monetary power and materialistic affluence as manliness, good for them. if society equates manliness with mental bearing, that's fine. They can say only guys with dauntless spirits, unlimited courage are manly, that has no bearing for me. Manliness is ephemeral and nebulous. To try and define it is not only hard but doesn't help me in any way whatsoever. If women, the public and even society does not view me as a man, it hurts, but bears no importance to how I view myself.
Of course, this is my personal definition. It comes from my kikuyu culture, my personal philosophy and pragmatisms. It is not stoically defined and able to morph. It is what I will bring to future generations of our family. I do hope that the future generations of the family have a better definition of being manly. Maybe there is already an existing definition that can be defined without the "fixed in stone" gender roles. For now, I think that sometimes I need to be manly. Sometimes.
Ps. I saw a tik Tok of a guy that was very upset that people redifined "literally" to mean the opposite of literally. It was hilarious but understandable. Maybe this is what I am doing here. Please follow your own definition of manly and don't adhere to mine. Please don't take offense to me redefining the word.
Pps. It is probably not manly to end my thesis of being manly with an apology, but whatever.
